Tan vs. Bleach

A conversation between me and one of my daughters. 

Kaylee:  "See it's two different colors"
Mom(Me):  "What did you do, put a bandaid on it?"
Kaylee: " I put peroxide on it"
Me:  "You bleached your skin?"
Katherine: "Kaylee, usually people want to TAN their skin not BLEACH it!"  

A few funny updates

Most of the time I find myself posting these things straight to facebook, but I want to recommit to posting them here for everyone to come and read.  

So,  here are a few ---

The other day Ethan asked Chris (his dad) this question. "So, who do you think has a harder job, the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause?"     

Ethan came walking from our bathroom hallway and said, "Thomas is IN the toilet"  

One night for dinner it was one child's turn for the prayer and this person said it, and then another child said, " No repetitious prayers"  And the child who said the prayer said, "It wasn't! This time I farted." 

Hid ..."e" what?

The other day Ethan was being really cute with Esther and came up rubbing her face gently and so sweetly said, "Esther, you are so hideous."    He had no clue what it meant until I explained it to him and then he said, "Mom, you are hideous!"  All I could do was laugh!

Normal Pains ..

Tonight during Family Home Evening, Kaylee announced that she went skating for 4 hours on Saturday.  And I jumped in and said, "And she hasn't complained about hurting from it either."  And then Kaylee said while pointing to her calf, "Except for right here, but that's normal."  And then I said, " So just your calf hurts?"   

Then Heidi says, "She doesn't have a baby cow!" 

Say Cheese!!

The other night we were eating dinner, and I had a bowl of shredded cheese sitting right next to me while I was holding Esther.  And I looked away for less than a minute and the little creature reached up and grabbed the bowl and dumped it on me.   And we all laughed, then Ethan comes up and gently pats Esther's hand and in his cutest little excited voice says,  "Yay Esther you had your first cheese lesson!" 

Just this morning Ethan was getting dressed.  He put on his pants and then put on the socks I gave him.  He came walking out and his pants were tucked into his socks.  I said, " Ethan your pants are tucked into your socks."  after waiting a few seconds I then said, " You look so silly, you are such a clown!" 

He stood up and started walking away, while saying ... "No - You are a clown!  You tell jokes." 

The other day Heidi was looking at an envelope in my car that was in the glove box for a while but ended up on the dash instead of back in the glove box.  She looked at the envelope which read " Mr. & Mrs. Chris and Wendy Randolph" 

She said, " Why does it say Mrs.?  You aren't a teacher or anything."  

Foot Punching...

I just realized I've neglected to put a lot of our "funnies" on this blog from this year.  Oops...

Here's one from the other day:

Ethan was crying and said, " Thomas punched me in the stomach with his foot!"  

Days of the week...

While taking two of my kids, (Heidi and Thomas) to their summer reading camp class the other morning, Ethan was along for the ride and asked, " Is it Tuesday?" 

I said, "Yes! You are right!"

And then Thomas asked, " Is tomorrow Friday?"

I said, "No! We just had Friday a few days ago.  We still have the rest of Tuesday, Wednesday and then Thursday before we get to Friday."

He then said, " So we'll have Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and skip Friday?"  (He said this with the hugest smile on his face)

Popcorn anyone??

So while I took Ethan to his Start Smart Baseball practice last night, I was wearing flip flops.  And then out of the blue he says, " Mom, your flip flops sound like popcorn popping!" 

School Time ...

Heidi and Thomas were telling me about an assembly that they had at school a few days ago, and after asking Heidi what they did she said, " Oh they just did a few skitches"   I think she combined sketch and skit.  I about died laughing.  

She also was doing a math fact homework page, and had me check the answers.  She did great !! I read the first 5 problems and they were all right and then I got to 7 + 3 =  T E N.  No kidding!!  She's such a smart alec sometimes. 

This is all me ....

I was at a meeting, and said, " I just want to spend my December watching HOT movies."  I had the whole group of ladies laughing, and I started to feel embarrassed because I meant to say, " I want to spend my December watching good movies, and drinking HOT chocolate"

Getting Ready

While Heidi was getting ready for school and getting ready at a very slow pace, I encouraged her to "HURRY UP!" and she came back with, "I'm going as fast as I want to!"  rather than the typical 'I'm going as fast as I can."

Bathrooms and tu-tu's

While standing outside the bathrooms in a local store, Ethan told me which door was for the girls and which one was for the boys.  I asked him how he knew, and he pointed to the girl one (the picture) and said, that "this one has a tu-tu and (while pointing to the other picture/door) and that one doesn't have a tu-tu".  

Which Man?

Mom said to Thomas, " I sure love my little man. "
Thomas said, " Ethan's your little man!"
Mom said, "Then who are you?"
Thomas said, " Your big man!"
 Mom said, "Then what's daddy?"
Thomas said, "Your GIANT man!"

Crackers Burp ...

While at church Ethan burped during the meeting. 
Katherine: " Ew, that's gross Ethan!"
Ethan: "That wasn't ME! It was the crackers!" 

Go to bed....

Me:  Heidi Go to Bed!

Heidi: But Mom, you don't know where I am?  Where am I? 
Me: You're in your room by the heater vent (I was in the kitchen washing some dishes)
talking into the vent. Now get in your bed!!
Heidi:  DARN IT!!  

I think she was quite surprised that without seeing her, I knew exactly where and and what she was doing.  Besides, I could hear her voice echoing through the heater ducts.

Overheard...

Random things I've overheard my kids say:

While in the dollar store this evening Ethan was picking out a treat.  He said to Thomas, " I'll share with everyone, except you."

Then a little later Thomas said this to Chris, " Dad, can I have all the pennies you get back?"  .....
After Chris paid for the stuff, he got back his change.  He split up the pennies and handed Thomas two, and then gave Ethan one.    Thomas held his hand open right by Ethan and said, "Here, Ethan, give it to me. Because I'm older"       (What a little weasel)

And he speaks ...

Out of the blue..Ethan (3 years old) said, " I'm going to be a Dad."
I said, " Really?  Are you going to have your own kids someday?"
He said, " Yes, I'm only gonna have four tids"  and he thought about that and changed it to.." A LOT OF TIDS! And there's gonna be lots of chairs for the boys!  And there won't be any girls and NO MOM!"

Yes, this may sound somewhat hurtful and mean, but it wasn't.  He made me laugh so hard when we had this little conversation.

Banana talk...

I'm sure every kid has done this...but for some reason tonight I thought it was incredibly funny.

He wanted a banana and asked if he could have one.  I said, "Go ask Daddy".   So he ran off and asked his dad, and came back and said, "Dad said yes!" 

I got up from the chair I was on, and went to double check, because Ethan makes things up sometimes, and Chris said it was fine if he had one banana, but to save the last one for him for the next day. 

I turned around to head back where Ethan was, and here he comes with his banana in the peel still, and holding it up to his ear likes it's a phone and said, "Hello?" 

I laughed so hard!!